Links of the Past
by Horsey Spike
Summary: Angel realized someone is a link to Buffy. Angel POV. Spoilers for 'Blood Money'


TITLE: Links of the Past (1/1)  
AUTHOR: Horsey Spike  
E-MAIL: horseyspike@aol.com  
SUMMARY: Angel realizes someone is a link to Buffy.  
DISCLAIMER: Angel: the Series, and all it's characters don't belong to be. Dave Greenwalt, and Joss Whedon own them. Sigh.  
SPOILERS: For 'Blood Money'  
DISTRIBUTION: Narcisstic Echo (http://www.geocities.com/horseyspike/), YGTS? (http://ygts.cjb.net), anyone else ask.  
AUHTOR'S NOTES: Answer to Challenge #131 at YGTS?   
-------------------  
  
She doesn't understand. Blood money, it's dangerous. It's as addicting as drugs. Once you have it, your can't stop needing. It may be going to a good cause, but who knows what she'll do to get the next fix. Something worse than Wolfram and Hart.   
  
I'm going to go see her, explain, stop her from making bad decisions. I might not be able to help anyone else right now.   
  
*  
  
When I came into her office, she was absently rubbing the crook of her elbow, eyes wander ing. When she spotted me, she gave a little huff.  
  
"Here to lecture me some more?" She asked, dropping her hand, and straightening some papers on her desk.  
  
"Yes." I said. Honest-man, that's me, yup, that's how I am. The new me. No more caring about their feelings, I'm tough, I can beat them all.  
  
"Well, save it for someone who gives a shit." Anne said, slumping back into her desk chair. She thinks that is going to stop a vampire? Oh, is she in for a surprise.   
  
"But you need to understand.." I trailed off. Understand what? I haven't thought this through properly before running off to save the damsel, have I?  
  
"Understand what?" She asked. "Ooh, bad money, from evil purposes. Money's money, I don't care how I get it."   
  
"Yes, you do." I responded, rememebering conversations I've held with Buffy and Cordelia. "Otherwise, you wouldn't be trying so hard to convince me that you don't care."   
  
"What is with you?"Anne asked. "Why should you care so much? Shoudn't you be doing something else? LIke maybe, saving the world? Why worry about me and how I get my money, when there's more important things to be done. Like that karaoke bar, all types seem to go in there."   
  
Okay, well, let's see here. How do I respond to that? Defensive, maybe? Show her all I have done, or.. I only have one choice.  
  
"It's a karaoke bar that serves demons. Fighting's not allowed."   
  
Anne snorted. Snorted! At me!   
  
Maybe I deserve this, maybe this is just another in a long line of punishment. Like always.  
  
She fell back into thinking, and left me there, standing around all unconfortable, and such.   
  
Silence reigned, I rocked back and forth on my feet, wondering what to say.   
  
"Whatcha thinking?" I asked, then winced at how that sounded like a little kid.  
  
"My past." Anne answered, not looking up. "My experiences with demons."  
  
"You've had other experiences?" I asked. This might be kind of interesting.   
  
"Yeah, a couple years ago, I was made to work in a place where hundred years there is only a day here." Anne sighed, and shifted unconfortably, probably at the memories. I know how that can be.  
  
"I've heard of a place like that." I said. Actually, I have. Buffy told me all about her summer excapde when I was back to coherent thinking.   
  
"Yeah? Not a fun place." Anne said, her eyes now looking at me. "I was saved, and that's the reason I want this shelter to succeed. I don't want kids on the street to go to a place like that."   
  
"Good idea." I said, thinking. This girl's gone through a lot. Maybe she does know the dangers of blood money, and the like.  
  
"Yeah. I owe my new life to her."  
  
"Her?" I questioned. This was a new piece of information.   
  
"Anne." She said.   
  
"She had the same name as you?" I asked, eyebrow raising.  
  
"No, I took her name." Anne said. "Her real name is Buffy."   
  
Blink. Blink. Blink.  
  
"Buffy?" I croaked out, not believing she had just said that name.  
  
"Yeah, funny name, isn't it? But, she saved my life, and a bunch of other people's two year ago. Then she left, to go back home. She taught me how to take care of myself. We still keep in touch."   
  
"I know Buffy." Let's try for more articlate, Angel. "I mean, I know Buffy." Hmph. Much better.  
  
"Really?" Anne asked. "How neat. From where?"   
  
"Sunnydale."   
  
"Wait, are you saying you're Angel, the vampire, that broke her heart?" Oh, time to look ashamed. Nobody usually brings it up as harshly as that.  
  
"Yeah?" I said hesitantly.  
  
She got up from her chair, and whacked me on the arm. Then sat back down.   
  
"What was that for?" I asked, rubbing the area she hit.   
  
"You hurt her!" Anne stated. "And, I wanted to."   
  
I nodded. Good enough reasoning for me.   
  
"I knew you looked familiar." She said after a bit.  
  
"But, I wasn't in the same place where you met up with Buffy." I stated, a mit bit confounded.  
  
"I was in Sunnydale." Anne said, standing up. "Over two years ago, before I became Anne."  
  
"What were you doing in Sunnydale?" I asked, Why would anyone want to come to Sunnydale?   
  
"I was part of that cult that worshipped vampires, we-"  
  
"Ford." I growled. I never liked him.  
  
"Yeah. You remember?"  
  
Of course I do, some guy trying to take Buffy away from me... I remember all the times someone's tried to kill her. Including all of Spike's pathetic attempts.   
  
"Yeah." Was all I said.  
  
"Well, I got away from everything with my new life. I do it a lot, but this time, I'm going to stay Anne." He ahnd went unconsciously to the crook of her elbow again, the area she was rubbing when I came in.  
  
"What's wrong?" I asked her, wanting to hear her talk more, and hoping she'd tell me that she was going to avoid blood money from now on.   
  
"Nothing. I'm just remembering." Anne drifted off.   
  
"Remembering what?" I asked.  
  
"Ricky."   
  
"Hmm?" I asked. I vaguely remember a Ricky, from Buffy's tales of her summer.  
  
"Lily's guy." Funny how she refers to her past lives like I do to Angelus. "He died in that horrible, horrible hell-place." She shivered, obviously remembering, and wrapped her arms around her self. "I had a tattoo there. Got it removed when I started the shelter, didn't want anything to remind me off that horrible place."  
  
"Understandable." I nodded. I know the feeling. I kept my tattoo though, to have a mental reminder of everything I did, since I cannot see my back.  
  
"I needed to get away." She murmered, more to herself, than to me. I have a horrible suspesion, that as much as she says, she's not over it yet.   
  
"How do you do it?" She asked suddenly, despretely, like a person searching for all the answers within themselves, and unable to come up with any. "How can you stand to know that there are demons all over the world, and they are hurting people right now, and that you can't do a damn thing to stop it?"  
  
I paused to consider this. At the current time, I'm under a lot of pressure, and I couldn't care less about what happens to all the victims. But, when I did, if I ever do again.. How do I answer her question?  
  
"Believe that what you are doing is helping people. You can't save everyone, I've learned that lesson well." And I have. Many times. "And any small amount is triple the worth than not helping anyone at all."  
  
Anne nodded slowly, considering this.  
  
"Thank you." She said to him, quietly, "That helps."  
  
"First time I've done that in a while." I muttered.  
  
"What do you mean?"  
  
I quickly explained to her all the bad things I've done, in brief summary, leaving out the dead lawyers, and Darla and Dru parts. So, that mainly left the firing part.  
  
"And I'm bothering you with my measly little burdens." Anne said.   
  
"It's okay." I said quickly.  
  
"No, it's not, Angel. You need people to listen to you every now and again. You can't carry the world on your shoulders."   
  
I dropped my head at her words. How true, but never gonna happen. I can only bear my soul to an equal, to one who understand the wickedness in me, and the souled part, and all of what I do. Buffy was the closest, and I don't want to burden her with the knowledge of all that I've done.   
  
In order to have an equal, I need another vampire with a soul.  
  
"It's getting early." I said, to get out of this conversation. "I better be getting back to the hotel before down."  
  
"Okay." Anne said. "But, if you need someone to talk to..."  
  
"I know where to go."   
  
She smiled, relieved, and sat down in her chair, suddenly looking very tired. She didn't realize that I didn't mean I would turn to her. I walked towards the door, and could feel her gaze heavy on my back.  
  
I turend to look at her one more time, as I reached for the door.   
  
Anne grinned wickedly at me as I opened the door.   
  
"Just wait until I tell Buffy what I learned today."  
  
-END-   
  



End file.
